HomeOpinion & AnalysisStimulus money will go to bottle stores, brothels

Stimulus money will go to bottle stores, brothels

letter to my people:BY DOCTOR STOP IT

My Dear People,
All of you must have burst out in laughter when ED announced that the government was going to roll out an $18 billion economic rescue and stimulus package, whatever that is.

A lot of our friends who were listening to the radio address could not stop giggling and laughing as Ngwena ploughed through his address.

Soon, ordinary Zimbabweans were already building scenarios on how the money would be spent.

Others suggested most of the money would be used to stimulate already struggling and poorly managed business adventures of senior members of the ruling party and government officials.

Such “businesses” we are told, include gold claims especially in the Midlands where unregulated panning has created an environmental and health hazard.

Other businesses that came into mind were bottle stores and “booking houses”, a euphemism for brothels.

The leftovers, it was further speculated, would be used to pay rentals and buy groceries for small houses and pay for medical costs and holidays for the ruling elite.

What economy?

We were very touched by the rather moving and brilliant revelation made by Ngwena earlier in the week.

“I came to the conclusion that if people die, we cannot resuscitate them,” he said in what must rank as one of the wisest sayings of all time.

Maybe we need to hold a musical gala or hold a million-man march in solidarity and support of such wise sayings by our president.

At the same meeting, he said the government’s bias has always been towards preservation of life and as such, even if the economy was to collapse, it could always be revived while the same could not be done with human lives.

Again eyebrows shot upwards.

Which life has government always tried to preserve?

That was not the case when more than 20 000 people were massacred in cold blood in the Midlands and Matabeleland provinces in a genocide presided over by some very prominent people.

Was it a bias towards preservation of life when several Zimbabweans were gunned downed in broad daylight in Harare as they waited for election results on August 1, 2018?

Was it a bias towards preservation of life when the ruling party unleashed an orgy of violence in Mashonaland provinces after the 2008 elections?

Was it a similar bias when government allowed the health sector to collapse while prioritising the purchase of vehicles for the ruling party and refusing to pay taxes?

Others were also asking, which economy he was talking about when the very same people had run down the same economy.

Through theft and corruption, we have very little in terms of an economy to talk about, Sir!

Things like arm twisting banks and sending daughters and sons to collect millions of US dollars don’t ordinarily contribute to the growth and development of an economy.

Equally, hiring an expensive private jet from the Middle East to come and make a two-minute flight from Harare to Maputo in Mozambique at great expense to the nation only contributes towards shrinking the economy.
 
Rombe at 40

There was a raging debate around our independence commemorations when the country turned 40.

What many agreed on was that there was really not much to celebrate for the ordinary Zimbabwean as life was generally unbearable for the majority while the ruling class was enjoying life at the expense of the common man.

In the discussion, many felt that even basic functional services, which had been left intact by the Rhodesians had been run down by the oppressors to the extent that ordinary Zimbabweans could not access basic education and health delivery services and many more.

Ziscosteel was looted by the ruling class, the National Railways of Zimbabwe was run down as happened to parastatals producing grain and cotton while Zupco was also allowed to run down.

Just about nothing functions in this country 40 years later.

Inevitably, the question was asked, if Zimbabwe was a man who had inherited a lot of wealth at birth, but had become a beggar at 40, how best would you describe that man.

“Rombe,” suggested many.

Viva home grown solutions Jenerari
One of the country’s vice-presidents, retired Jenerari Simpuru was in Beitbridge last week.

Our suggestion is those three men in the presidium need to reduce their travels as they may end up spreading or contracting the coronavirus.

Anyway back to Beitbridge with retired Jenerari Simpuru.

This time he was not wearing those giant rompers.

Anyway, we welcome his very statesmanlike statement in which he observed that the global lockdown should be used as a wake-up call by governments to use home grown solutions to build their economies.

Very sound indeed.

Of course, we take it that this also means seeking medical attention locally.

Not flying off to South Africa, India and China and spending months there at a huge cost to the economy.

Was Kembo set up to fail
Recently, Kembo Mohadi was given few minutes on national radio to make an announcement.

Most felt he was being set up for failure. Anyway, poor Kembo was asked to announce that prices of commodities were being backdated to March.

Either nobody listens to local radio anymore or nobody listens to Kembo. The retailers have even doubled their prices since Kembo’s address.

Sadc to defend murderers?

Did the South African President Cyril Ramaphosa send an emissary to Zimbabwe saying outgoing Lesotho prime minister Tom Thabane wanted protection amid allegations that he and his lover killed his wife?

And is that the new mandate of Sadc? If a Sadc president axes his wife to death in a maize field, all they need to do is seek protection from the  chairperson of the Sadc organ on politics, defence and security cooperation?

Many first ladies will either be murdered or jailed if that trend continues. Or even axed.
Munopenga!

Failure by MDC municipalities
MDC municipalities are proving on a daily basis that they are no different from their cousins in Zanu PF.

They are failing to provide water in the middle of a global pandemic, which requires running water as part of containment.

Ntombizodwa Chete Chete  !

Chatunga Chete Chete!

Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)

l Feedback: Doctorstopit@gmail.com

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