HomeOpinion & AnalysisIf Zimbabwe discovers Covid-19 vaccine . . .

If Zimbabwe discovers Covid-19 vaccine . . .

letter to my people:BY DOCTOR STOP IT

My Dear People,
There is no harm in dreaming.

Not just small dreams, but huge dreams, very big ones.

 Just like our Mthuli Ncube was having dangerous hallucinations the other time when he told his stunned audience that he wanted to launch a satellite into space.

In fact, Mr Barbican went so far as to say the funds had already been set aside.

If a cabinet minister and members of the first family could be implicated in the theft of life-saving Covid-19 materials and money, who would worry about the theft of money meant for a satellite?

Who asks about progress made in the development of the satellite, where it is being assembled, the people behind the programme and other very important developments on the issue.

“Research and development are critical for Zimbabwe’s social-economic transformation and competitiveness, as the country strives to attain Vision 2030,” Ncube was quoted saying.

“Research and development programmes will be supported by both government and private sectors as the country seeks to innovate in developing new services or products, and also advance the value addition strategy.

“The budget has set aside resources for research and development programmes, including the launch of a space satellite.”

To be very clear, some money, or resources to use his term, were actually set aside for that programme.

To start with, some sceptics had already said the satellite funds were being set aside so that they could be looted quietly in future by the ruling elite and their cronies.

The hard-to-please lot say the funds have already been looted by the time the statement was made.

Anyway, back to the issue of dreaming big.

Assuming, just assuming, the Covid-19 vaccine was successfully developed in Zimbabwe.

Chaos!

Here we don’t meant he diesel in Chinhoyi type of vaccine please.

The diesel in Chinhoyi vaccine would be a case in which some snake oil salesman or woman makes a presentation at a Zanu PF conference that in their dreams, the spirits or ancestors of the country had “shown” them the cure for Covid-19.

The cure could be in the form of roots or oil or water mixed with a host of other additives.

Of course, as happened with the diesel in Chinhoyi fiasco, a high-powered delegation from the party and government, including a vice-president and ministers heading security ministries would be despatched to offer money, farms and other goodies as payment for surrendering ownership of the magic cure.

Meanwhile, all the leaders and their immediate family members would be trying out the diesel in Chinhoyi concoction on the sly.

But what if a proper vaccine was developed?

It would absolutely be another bedlam.

Whoever would have developed the vaccine would be given royal treatment and suffocated by the ruling elite as they seek to curry favour.

More like how Nigerian business mogul Aliko Dangote was overwhelmed by Zimbabwe’s then vice-presidents and former president who held useless meetings with him instead of just creating an enabling environment for him to invest in the country.

Many are convinced that some of the people who met Dangote were trying to extort him of some shares and board membership for their semi-literate relatives, children and small houses.

But back to our Covi-19 vaccine and made in Zimbabwe.

We are very much convinced that our leadership in the party and government would be the first to receive the vaccines.

Maybe the first to be vaccinated would be the president and first secretary and the two vice-presidents and second secretaries.

Next would be members of the cabinet, politburo, central committee, provincial chairpersons and their executives, district coordinating committees, the women’s league and the youth league.

Of course, the war veterans would vocally demand to be among the first to be vaccinated resulting in them being among the early beneficiaries in recognition for their brave participation in the war for independence.

Of course, the lucky lot would get the vaccines together with their immediate families while their small houses and other relatives would be following closely.

Next would be ordinary card-carrying members of the party, who would get the vaccine on the recommendation of their cell, branch or district chairperson.
Next would be the rest of Zimbabwe.

Known members of the opposition, journalists, civic society activists and other such unpatriotic malcontents would only receive the vaccine if it is still available.

The team that would have developed the vaccine would receive farms while a musical gala would be staged in their honour.

The sweet taste of power
After the coup that removed Robert Mugabe, the new military junta made a lot of nice high-sounding statements.

In future, only the party symbol and not the image of an individual would be stencilled on party regalia.

But as soon as Ngwena was sworn in at his naguresheni, party regalia with his image was being printed.

Although initially misleading the nation that his birthday was a private family affair, we were shocked for most of last week to hear silly stories about his birthday which were later continued in Masvingo.

Must be the sweet taste of power.

Where is the signal, Chamisa?

What seems to be emerging now is that maybe our child president Chamisa may have bitten off more than he could chew when he grabbed power from Thokozani Kuphe when Morgan Tsvangirai had just died.

Shame, poor fellow. The young fella is afraid of confronting the Zanu PF monster. Of course, a few whimpers can be heard coming from him.

Thankfully, there are people like Tendai Biti and Job Sikhala to give the regime sleepless nights.

Otherwise, all Zimbabweans are now agreed that both the MDC and Zanu PF have had their time and, as things stand, they are both part of the problems facing Zimbabwe, but not part of the solution or the future.

Behold! The Third Force!

Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)

l Feedback: Doctorstopit@gmail.com

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