My Dear People,
The poor leadership style of Ngwena was on show again this week after he awarded himself the Freedom of the City of Victoria Falls.
In the middle of a worsening Covid-19 global pandemic, we have a president who is busy awarding himself dubious honours of Freedom of the City, whatever that means.
According to Wikipedia: “Freedom of the City is an ancient honour granted to martial organisations, allowing them the privilege to march into the city “with drums beating, colours flying, and bayonets fixed”.
This honour dates back to ancient Rome, which regarded the “pomerium”, the boundary of the city, as sacred.”
So there you are! A whole president awarding himself a very dubious honour to march through the city while people are dying of Covid-19.
In fact, that silly shindig could have contributed to the unnecessary spreading of the Covid-19 virus.
Anyway like most politicians, the moment journalists stuck microphones in his face, he started losing his mind and saying things which he had not originally planned to say.
Things like the ever changing story of how he escaped the hangman’s noose as a young saboteur.
Many have never understood the nature of the “deal” that he struck with his Rhodesian captors, which enabled him to be deported to Zambia.
How does one get deported to a foreign country?
Needless to say, after being deported his interest in the nationalist cause somewhat cooled until he was summoned to Mozambique by the great Robert Gabriel Mugabe to become a special assistant and bodyguard to Gushungo.
His jail mates have for some reason been convinced that he was released at night during which nobody could see the transaction taking place.
So let’s not use silly get togethers to re-write stories of our ever changing biographies with the principal character becoming more heroic with each chapter.
If Magufuli was our president . . .
We read a very amusing story from Tanzania last week.
John Magufuli, the enigmatic president of Tanzania was at it again.
This time he announced that he had fired a deputy minister, who had failed to accurately read the contents of his oath of office during a swearing in ceremony.
Magufuli is reported to have immediately ordered an investigation to verify if the politician’s academic qualifications were genuine.
Of course as Zimbabweans we started thinking about our own politicians, who have problems pronouncing or ‘pronzouning’ certain words.
We cannot name the poritishenzi in Zimbabwe, who have simira dhibhiritating probrems.
Still on Comrade Dhibhiritating, we were very relieved recently when he correctly pronounced the word elections on national television.
Any srip of the tongue and there would have been chaos.
When Parliament provides its own laughs
It must have started when someone decorated our Parliament like a safari lodge.
Some lucky taxidermist was awarded the contract to mount leopard and kudu heads in the August house.
Generally, houses of parliament across the world always have their own eccentric individuals.
It can range from Julius Malema and his crazy gang in South Africa to Zimbabwe’s own Munyaradzi Gwisai and Job Sikhala, who is equally eccentric as much as he is a fashion disaster on two legs to the fist fights that regularly break out in the not-so-august house in Taiwan.
So we had our irrepressible Priscilla Misihairabwi- Mushonga coming up with her own version of doing things differently or whatever you may want to call it.
The problem with Priscilla is you never know at which point to take her seriously.
Let us just say we were amused to hear that she wrapped herself in a cloth and spread a reed mat in front of Mthuli Ncube as a way of thanking him for presenting a friendly budget through providing sanitary wear for girls.
The Herald told us that Misihairabwi-Mushonga paid tribute to Ncube “the traditional way”.
We wonder what other things are being done the traditional way in Parliament.
Where does SB stay?
It was excruciatingly painful to listen to SB Moyo, “The Coup DJ” making a presentation at the World Press Freedom Conference, which was hosted by Unesco virtually.
He told participants, most of whom know better that in Zimbabwe the media was regarded as an important arm.
He correctly pointed out that the Zimbabwean constitution recognises the safety and security of journalists.
He did not point out that security forces of the Zimbabwean government and Zanu PF supporters have a bad reputation of arresting and bullying journalists, especially from the independent media.
As a former soldier, we wonder why SB does not use his influence and knowledge to help create a professional army, which knows that journalists have a right to exist and to do their work.
SB reminds us of the other Moyo at the Zimbabwe Anti-Corruption Commission.
She is always talking about reigning in corruption but ignores the rot in higher offices.
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (FAKE)
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