Most relationships start with a courtship. This is the initial stage when an attraction is ignited through an identified characteristic feature possessed by a corresponding member of mostly the opposite sex. This could come in the form of a physical attribute, or some blessed habitual trait that could be appealing to the other individual. People cherish different things. What may be of an admiration to one person may not be appreciated or held in high esteem by another. Humans are attracted by a variety of things, in different ways. This is a very crucial element in our romantic selections in the formation of relationships.
BY PROSPER TINGINI
It is a common assumption that most women are attracted by men endowed with money or some other form of wealth,irrespective of the physical countenance of the individual. Appearance is then deemed to be of less value.
Financial security is often placed top of the list ahead of other attributes. Social status also comes with it. In our culture, this line of thinking is often cultivated into the minds of a majority of women from early adulthood through the social platforms of life.
Close relatives, aunts and friends play an important part in nourishing this mentality. Even some difference in age is often downplayed as of little relevance.
While the man’s state of academic achievement is a factor of importance, its significance has been eroded by the high unemployment levels coupled by usually unfair remunerations in the public employment sector.
Men in powerful positions across the social fabrics of society are of huge attraction to most women. However, there could be some consequences attached to such a limited “power and wealth focus” attitudes in the partnership selections by women should the man lose any of it in the long run.
Contrary to the women’s restricted preferences for partners, men’s attitudes are different and open-ended. They are numerous and probably numbering multiples of tens of the variety of reasons why a man is either attracted to a woman or would want to get into a liaison with a member of the opposite sex.
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Any particular physical feature of any part of the female anatomy can alone instantly attract a male’s attention at first sight. The admired region can then ignite romantic thoughts in the man, of which he may ignore or decide to act upon.
Every woman is thus attractive in the eyes of different men as they see the same things differently in one view or the other, going by their overpopulated selection preferences for mating partners.
It was God’s way of ensuring that every female will attract a male. This is a very important element which women should know, but which is often hugely ignored.
If only every woman in a romantic relationship could know what it is that attracted her man to her in the first place!! Any loss or neglect of care for that particular ‘magnet’ which was the cause of arousing the attention of the man may lead to a reduced interest should a woman ignore to take note or keep an adequate care of that particular aspect .
Unlike in men, most women develop love for a man only after a thorough assessment of his qualities. Even though he may be attractive in outlook, that alone is not a sufficient basis for a woman to decide to enter into a relationship with an admirer. Security, status and trust comes first.
For the men it is sometimes only that one feature of attraction in the woman that stimulates a lust which may turn into a crave for a want of a liaison or an intimacy. This then is very often mistaken for emotional love by both males and females.
After a relationship is established, its usually at that point that the man will then start to give a serious assessment on the woman’s suitability as a long-term or a marriage partner. The scenario is a big disadvantage to women because by then most of them would already have fallen in love.
This delayed appraisal of the woman’s character, or of her other attributes by the man, is often the cause of most of the heartbreaks. The man can then suddenly decide that the potential lover is not after all suitable as a long-term or marriage partner. He may then choose to just ‘disappear from the relationship’ or start to give other flimsy excuse to avoid full commitment.
Honest men or women would formally end the relationship altogether .This explains why most of the relationships end prematurely. For those relationships that survive this initial stage, caution should then be exercised before rushing into marriages, as compatibility then comes into play thereafter. Marriage is an event that happens after a chain of processes from the attraction stages to the courtship factors .In the scriptures it is written that the Lord our God first created a human male,Adam. He then realised that a man alone could not live a fulfilling life without a partner to assist him hence he went on to create a woman named Eve.
God moulded Eve’s physical being in such a manner that Adam would be attracted to her instantly so that he would accept her and love her intimately. Everything the Lord created was good and Adam was obviously instantly attracted to Eve. Every woman born into this world is in her own way beautiful. It is then in the eyes of the beholder, the man, to identity the beauty. Therefore, no woman is ugly in every sense of that word.
Together with the sense of taste, God also encompassed a differentiation of other tastes to also include the human selection process for choice of partners, to ensure that every being could find and be paired to an opposite sex mating partner. It was also the Lord’s way of ensuring that all living creatures could multiply exceedingly .A man at first would focus on a particular beauty feature on a woman but will thereafter expand his horizon into other areas, like the woman’s personal behaviour and character .Sadly this sometimes happens after the liaison is already consummated. This was also the case with Adam as he only found out about Eve’s weakness of character after they had already become a couple. (Read Genesis 3.)
- Prosper Tingini is the scribe of the Children of God Missionary Assembly-God’s messengers. Contact: 0771260195. Email address: [email protected]
