HomeOpinion & AnalysisState House is now a playground

State House is now a playground


My Dear people,

God is in it, kkk. I don’t mean Nelson Chamisa’s slogan, but rather probably the strangest diplomatic appointment ever.

The aptly named Uebert Angel, who sometimes dabbles in predictions, I mean prophecy, is now a roving ambassador of some sort to Europe and the Americas.

What kind of post is that?

Whoever cursed this country must either be dead or very cruel, that’s the only possible reason why the curse has not been lifted.

In all my years sitting next to Baba, I never heard of such a ridiculous appointment.

This must be a record of sorts.

So, probably Ngwena realises he has failed and is now looking to the gods for salvation, so he decided to pick a “man of god” to do his bidding.

But as long as Baba’s spirit is not happy, it can’t.

Ngwena has to find a way of appeasing the spirit of Zimbabwe’s only true statesman, otherwise he will run from pillar to post and from Mbuya Nehanda to Uebert Angel, but nothing will work.

If there’s anything that’s holding Zimbabwe back, it’s the conflation of the ruling party and the state.

This has been on full show in the past few weeks when Ngwena was displaying the MDC defectors at State House.

The defection of a few rebels to Zanu PF is not a state issue and they should be paraded at Shake Shake building and not at State House.

The State House is being devalued right before our eyes.

Speaking of defections, Ngwena thinks bagging Obert Gutu was a real coup (kkk excuse the pun).

Gutu is a washed-up politician with no real political value.

His law practice is also struggling and there was no real depth in the political analyses he gave public media.

Besides the political theatre, Gutu’s defection to Zanu PF is probably the most pointless of exercises and really a waste of time.

The next “defection” that will not shock anyone is that of Priscilla Misihairabwi-Mushonga, kkk. She’s literally Zanu PF now just like Gutu.

RIP Magufuli

The late Tanzanian president John Magufuli, who came into power on a wave of populism only to become an autocrat, like someone I know, died this past week.

Magufuli was supposed to be a breath of fresh air, a doer who put his people first, but in the end he suffered an ignominious death as a Covid-19 denier.

I get his desire to keep the country open, but denying the existence of Covid-19 was probably the most stupid thing ever.

A number of people have died in Tanzania in circumstances that could have been avoided had Magufuli been a little more mature instead of thinking he was omnipotent.

In the first days, he seemed to be a doer, but in the end, he was a media hangman, who brooked no criticism and tried to control every facet of Tanzanian life.

Baba’s close friend, Julius Nyerere, had put Tanzania on the right path, just like Gushungo did for Zimbabwe, but Magufuli was taking the country backwards in terms of democracy.

I hope Tanzania is able to press the reset button and go back on the path of democracy.

I am also thrilled that Tanzania has a female president and I’m around to offer any advice to her if she needs it, which she obviously does.

There’s no one better placed to give her advice than me.

I spent almost three decades at the side of the Bobstar and I gained so much from him, wisdom I can gladly pass on.

I know some of you mischievous ones are saying I have no qualifications and experience to advise anyone, but just being in Baba’s presence was enough.

Those who did science will tell you about osmosis, when stuff moves from a region of higher concentration to a region of lower concentration.

That’s what happened to me, kkk, but I’m not sure why it didn’t happen to the rest of the clowns in Zanu PF.

May someone please make these parliamentary recalls make sense because I’ve tried to understand them, but nothing is adding up.

Lucia Matibenga and her PDP joined the People’s Rainbow Coalition ahead of the elections in 2018, but are angry that Tendai Biti and his PDP joined MDC Alliance.

And our courts and Parliament indulge such self-serving nonsense.

Matibenga and all her three supporters should not have any right to recall anyone from Parliament, it’s morally wrong and legally it doesn’t make sense.

The recalls of legislators is undemocratic and runs roughshod over the wishes of the people who chose their own representatives.

The only time that the people’s wishes were disregarded in a more brazen manner was when Ngwena and his friends in the army forced Baba out of power.

Ntombizodwa Woyee!

Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)

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