BY DOCTOR STOP IT
My Dear People,
Can Baba ever rest in peace? Will these people ever leave him alone?
Right now, I am very ill and need treatment in some foreign country — retail therapy, I mean — and now I am being bothered about Baba’s resting place.
Some people claim I buried Baba with a sceptre or tsvimbo in Shona and now they want to exhume him under the guise that we did not follow tradition in burying him.
To be clear, no such sceptre exists and if it did, why would I give it to Ngwena after the way he treated Baba?
We are led by the most superstitious bunch ever.
Instead of running the country, they are busy looking for sceptres and all other spirits to help them run the country.
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First, they fought for Baba’s body when he died, I won that war.
When things weren’t going well, they consulted a traditional healer who told them that Mbuya Nehanda’s spirit wasn’t happy.
Now they are building a gigantic statue in Harare, hoping that this will improve the country’s situation, it won’t.
Before that, they were all making a beeline to Madzibaba Wimbo for blessings and there are stories that he was literally held hostage because they wanted him to issue his blessings.
My people, this is the calibre of leaders that we have.
Baba was a Christian, a Catholic, he didn’t believe that sticks held the secret to power.
Anyway, I am yet to decide whether I will appear before the chief, because right now I am really busy attending to my shopping.
A girl has got to look good even when appearing before some village chief. Kkk!
Speaking of sceptres, what happened to the one that Nero received in 2018 before the elections?
There was a lot of noise about the issue when Nero said he had visited the late Father Zimbabwe’s home and was offered a sceptre.
Kkk! This country really does specialise in the dark arts.
Just forget about superstition and run the country.
There was a time when people accused Ngwena of fighting corruption, I hope they now regret making those accusations.
In the past week, Delish Nguwaya was appointed for some nondescript position at the Affirmative Action Group.
You see, Nguwaya has a rap sheet stretching from Cape Town to Cairo.
His infamy first came into the spotlight when he was posing as an intelligence informer in a case where he accused the police of torture and all manner of things.
Then there was the Draxgate issue, where he was accused of inflating the price of Covid-19 PPE while representing a dodgy company.
Surely, this is not the person you want to be part of the Affirmative Action Group because his reputation will be a stain on the organisation.
Unless, of course, the organisation is not as upstanding as it should be.
Anyway, what can I expect from anything with Fidza, remember Baba once called him tsuro mage’na?
Speaking of corruption, something dodgy is afoot at the Robert Gabriel Mugabe International Airport.
This really does give Baba a bad name.
First, Sister Henrietta was caught with gold at the airport.
Now her former driver has been caught in South Africa with even a bigger stash of gold.
Kkk! Is there anyone who believes that he resigned as Henrietta’s driver and that the letter circulated on social media is genuine?
Why do bad things always follow Henrietta?
Her time in charge of our football was also littered with allegations of match-fixing and corruption.
She has now moved to the mining sector and corruption has followed her.
Now her “former” aide has also been implicated in gold smuggling.
Surely, this just can’t be a case of bad luck.
Back to Ngwena, if he was serious about fighting corruption, then Delish and Sister Henrietta would be semi-permanent guests of Chikurubi and not holding these lofty positions that they hold.
The noise about the Kazungula Bridge has finally died down, but Ngwena was left with a giant egg on his face.
Ngwena should stop claiming easy victories.
He told a rally that Zimbabwe was part of the Kazungula Bridge project, when it was clearly not.
From there, he was invited to the commissioning of the bridge as a guest, where he again pleaded for the addition of Zimbabwe into the project.
What Ngwena should concentrate on is building infrastructure in Zimbabwe, improving efficiencies at the Beitbridge Border Post, improving our road network and modernising our tolling system.
The Kazungula Bridge was constructed because of frustrations with Zimbabwe by countries in the region.
Rather than trying to muscle in, Ngwena should concentrate on improving how Zimbabwe conducts business.
But then again, our leaders are more interested in superstition, sceptres and witchcraft rather than ruling, so we should not expect much from them.
Munopenga!
Dr Amai Stop it! PhD (Fake)
