A woman has written asking for advice about a secret she has kept for 19 years. Her two twin children were raised by her parents as their own — as her “siblings”.
Report by Grace Mutandwa
She is married and has other children with her husband. She describes her husband as a sensitive and generous man who has helped educate her “siblings”.
The twins will soon be going into university and her husband has suggested they be enrolled at a regional university in the country where he is currently employed.
The twins are unaware of their true parentage. They are registered as biological children of their grandparents. Despite the fact that she says glowing things about her husband, the woman says in the 15 years they have been married, the husband has had two affairs she is aware of.
One of them was with an old friend of hers. She has also noticed that every time the twins visit if the husband is around, he likes taking the twin girl out with him. He has formed an overly close bond with the girl. He treats the twin boy with respect just as one would with a brother-in-law!
The woman adds that it would be okay if the twins would stay in residence at the university but her husband wants them to live with him.
On a money saving level it makes a lot of sense but on another level the woman feels her husband might be tempted to enter into a relationship with her “sibling”.
She wants to save her marriage but she also wants to ensure that her twin children’s lives are not destroyed if this secret comes out. She is already fighting with her husband over the issue of where the twins should go for university.
Chances are her marriage might survive the unveiling of this secret but there are also very high chances that the husband will wonder what else she has lied about.
There are surprisingly many women out there who have successfully gone through life without disclosing that they have a child or children. This is because some women strongly believe that being a single parent reduces your chances of getting married.
The truth is that there are some men who would never go out with a single parent but there are also several men who will not just go out with a single mom but go on and marry her.
It is wrong to pretend that your children are your siblings. It is very wrong to marry someone and not tell them you have children hidden somewhere.
If this sister’s husband ends up sleeping with the “sibling”, the woman only has herself to blame. It would be wrong for the man as well because all men should respect their sister-in-law’s space and protect them just as they would their own children.
