More than 10 years ago, it was hard to imagine that married Zimbabwean women would leave families in search of greener pastures abroad. Column by Grace Mutandwa
But women have been leaving in droves and continue to do so. Either men have mellowed tremendously or women have developed a stronger backbone because in the past, men were the only ones who packed bags and left to widen their fortune-hunting experience.
Women stayed in their jobs at home and looked after the children and extended family — basically playing the waiting game.
I have stayed in touch with most of my female friends who have left the country. Some started off doing menial jobs, but are now armed with degrees and the world is their oyster.
I have friends in Rwanda, the DRC, South Sudan and Somalia, among other scary countries. All were married women, some are still married and others are hovering in no man’s land — not quite sure if their marriages can survive another four or five years of them working away from home.
Women have become major procurers of the home bacon and in some cases, they are the only ones contributing to the family coffers.
Women in changed and improved economic status usually end up demanding a say in how their money is used. They want to make financial decisions and want their contribution acknowledged. Economically empowered women value themselves more and can also become quite adventurous.
When I communicate with my friends who have broken out, I am always fascinated about some of their exploits.
Some of these women were described as perfect women in traditional circles — mothers and wives who put their families first and never spoke up when trampled on. But now it is almost like they have been re-born. There is a new soul and spark in their lives and they all put it down to being their own economic masters.
They can now pamper themselves without feeling guilty, go out on their own and do not even feel they need to check in with their husbands first and splash on top of the range of vehicles without batting an eyelid.
Family members usually get shocked when a woman suddenly starts making independent decisions, going to places they do not expect married women to visit or dress in a manner that they do not associate with “wives”.
The world is changing and Zimbabwean women are changing too.
When the country’s economy imploded, the pace of change increased faster than many people would have been comfortable with. Zimbabwean women are not given to sitting back and watching while their families are decimated by poverty. They make a plan and over the past decade, going abroad has been the major plan.
In a changing environment, men who do not change with their women will find it hard to fit in. Couples grow apart when one member of the team decides to develop himself/herself.
You might have started off in the same class, but when your spouse starts climbing that success ladder, it usually spells doom for your relationship, unless you climb together.
My female friends who have turned around their lives inspire me, but they would inspire me even more if they took the game higher. Consumerism and high spending energy is okay up to a certain point, but women need to start creating wealth blocks that will shield them from poverty.
When I speak to my male friends, I find their vision very different. Yes, my male friends are going back to school too, but they talk investment with a consuming passion. Where I hear my female friends talk of the latest car they have just acquired, a designer perfume or the latest place they have visited, my male friends speak the Kruger Rand language — investment, investment.
The guys know exactly which investment portfolio makes financial sense at any given time. Of course they also do their fair share of insatiable consumption of latest gadgets but they are into serious long-term wealth creation.
I know a group of men who meet once every week — very early in the morning — for a brainstorming breakfast.
They talk stocks, gold, platinum and the best places in the world to grow your money. You can no longer rely on a local bank to make your money make sense, you need to look at other avenues.
