Dear my people,
Greetings from New York, USA.
This week I wanted to take a rest from making my now very popular weekly address but due to the overwhelming demand, I was left with no option but to write, even as I must deal with monumental jet lag and fatigue.
BY DOCTOR STOP IT
I write after another long flight to this part of the world where I may want to do a bit of shopping — of course not for myself, but for all those poor children that I look after at the orphanage.
I am talking about those poor children on whose behalf I have amassed vast tracts of land in order to give them a better future.
Perish the thought! As I once said during my very popular tours last year, I make a lot of the dresses which I wear. It’s all about accessorising! I hope you know what the word means.
Despite those silly travel sanctions imposed by the pale devils from the West on Baba, your father and myself, your mother, have made a mockery of the sanctions as they do not apply to United Nations events such as the one we are here for.
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Having been to the Far East for routine medical check-ups and now in New York, it may be easy for some of you to think I enjoy flying all over the world. Actually, I don’t. But can you imagine me or any member of the Royal First Family going into those local filthy hospitals with personnel always on strike?
Some Gamatox-aligned nurses and doctors may just decide to be mischievous, so we will stay clear of local hospitals. Those are for you.
Even Moregirls Tsvangirai and his officials during the inclusive government learned very quickly that local hospitals are for common people. The chap went a step further and found himself a foreign girl in South Africa!
Needless to say, he was persuaded to “baby-dump” that South African gold-digger and accept our very own Zanu PF daughter as a gift. Moregirls has a soft spot for Zanu PF daughters. We should call him our son-in-law, I think. Mukwasha.
I have had to be here in New York to ensure that the Gamatox leftovers do not put the wrong speech in front of Baba during what is set to be another gallant, heroic and historic presentation at the General Assembly. I also need to ensure security is tight. Can you imagine if the carpet has any folds which might have to force the Supreme Grandmaster Leader to nimbly break his fall as he gallantly did at the Harare International Airport when some Gamatox aides allowed him to trip?
Back home, while Emmerson is Acting-President, I hope I will not hear of silly statements to the effect that there is an “Acting First Lady”. Goodness me! From here I would shout: “Stop It!”
Talks about Talks Last week people were losing their heads about alleged talks between Zanu PF, bato renyika, ibandla lezwelonke and some of those obscure opposition parties.
I won’t say much, except that I am sure you saw whose word was dominant at the burial of Cde Sikhanyiso.
Of course allegations that the Unity T-shirts came from one of my houses are all lies peddled by Joice and Moregirls.
Mphoko is generally not a problem. If we don’t send him to open one of his supermarkets, then he can always be sent to tour homes of embassy staff in Mozambique and maybe use the opportunity to visit his in-laws. Emmerson needs a good public relations manager because his insult on the late VP Cde Josh is now causing us sleepless nights in the party.
But I like some of the possible outcomes that the “talks” with the opposition may provide.
Thinking aloud, what if we have another GNU and postpone the 2018 elections to say 2023?
That means the Supreme Leader won’t have to subject himself to another energy-sapping campaign. It may mean if we unite with Moregirls, we prevent his silly dream of uniting with Joice under what they call The grand coalition. The masterstroke is that the Gamatox faction would be forced to lie dormant until 2023 as they would not be in government! This would surely make the people of Zimbabwe “baby-dump” Joice, while we cannot speculate on what nature can do between now and 2023 to those elderly People First dreamers.
Again, who knows, given the own goals Emmerson has been scoring, by that time the people of Zimbabwe may have warmed up to the idea of having a woman President. Not Joice, but Me!
Journalists please be accurate! I was disappointed by what I saw in The Herald of Thursday September 24. Journalists can be a disappointing lot. Given how the media, not The Herald though, have been critical of me, I was shocked to see that they make mistakes after all. In reference to the newly-appointed minister of Sport and Recreation, the newspaper boldly announced: “He beats ground running”. Of cause, you and I know that you: “Hit the ground running”.
Stop It!
Next week I will touch on several issues, including allegations that people working and meeting at a certain hotel with some “mamatox” journalists are doing so with my blessings.
Your Mother,Dr Amai (PHD UZ)
