Lizard stole my Mberengwa show

Obituaries
Dear my people, I am very tired due to the tight schedule of addressing the different rallies that I held over the past few days.

Dear my people, I am very tired due to the tight schedule of addressing the different rallies that I held over the past few days.

LETTERS TO MY PEOPLE BY DOCTOR STOP IT

It all started well with the rally in Mbare. Forget the fact that the attendees had been kidnapped from Mupedzanhamo, Siyaso and other informal markets.

The rally was good because it was the first truly Women’s League rally that I have ever held. The other rallies in the past have been dominated by men. Which makes me wonder why some men want to be members of the Women’s League.

Or maybe they could be women in men’s bodies? Just wondering, but it felt good to have a women’s show dominated by women and not men.

Mbare was so good that my spirits soared. After slapping one or two rogue war veterans on the wrist, I even offered to donate rice to some journalists so that they don’t write negatively about me.

I know others will ask where the meat and cooking oil for relish is. That would be irresponsible to ask such divisive and unrevolutionary questions. The media coverage was naturally good after the Mbare rally because I was portrayed in positive light.

I think I should give them more rice or even a guided tour of the orphanage in Mazowe then cook more rice for them. I would even allow them to bring along their mothers who I once mentioned in a not-so-positive light.

I think if the journalists start writing nice things about me, like how I am a beautiful Queen with millions of followers who want me to lead them, then we will be talking. I may consider producing T-shirts with the message: MaJournalists ese kunaAmai! [All journalists to mother] That would be music to me.

When the Lizard pulled the rug in Mberengwa

Up to now, I can’t explain what happened in Mberengwa.  But I have always suspected that some people from that part of the country don’t like me for some reason. I gave a five-star performance in Mataga, including singing for the people. But the applause was very muted.

But what I did not understand was the reason why Mboko and Lizard’s sons were introduced at the rally in Mberengwa. I think people are getting too excited, especially the two assistants.

Are their sons women? Why not introduce them at youth league meetings? Don’t people know that there is only one Chatunga? Are their sons a challenge for Chatunga?

My message is that people should know that there is only one First Family. Actually, there is only one family in Zimbabwe. So after giving Ngwena a ride in MY helicopter all the way from Harare, he decided to be ungrateful. After I had been introduced by Mboko who had very little to say, I put up a dazzling show although there were no cheers. Maybe Rugare Gumbo and Teurairopa had spent the previous night misleading the people and telling them not to applaud me.

So when I had finished, somebody came up with the silly idea that Lizard Ngwena should give a vote of thanks.

Naturally, he seized the opportunity by summarising my presentation and added his views. In the end, it was like he was making the keynote presentation. In the end people did not know who the guest speaker was.

I actually think many thought Lizard was the main speaker. To add to my embarrassment, he was being cheered on by the crowd which had been silent throughout my speech. I smell a smell comrades. And that smell does not smell like a good smell.

I hear Mboko left early in protest  after I gave him my now famous motherly public embarrassments. How dare he commit a cardinal sin like forgetting my totem.

Lizard cannot afford to be smug as in his excitement, he said: Pasi neZanu…” [Down with Zanu PF] So nobody can laugh and say Gushaz is too old to rule because at the 2014 Congress he said: “Pasi neZanu PF.” Kkkkk [laughing] I love you, I am your mother. I have realised there is a lot of indiscipline in the Women’s League. Around me a lot is happening. I also realise that people don’t listen to me. My deputy, Eunice Sandi Moyo announced that the League was investigating Cde Monica for attending an illegal meeting. Immediately after, three powerful officials, including Cdes Shuvai, Chinomona and Esphinah issued counter statements.

Are we still together comrades? Are these developments designed to embarrass me and portray me as ineffective? Stop It!!

Munhuwese kuna Amai! Mupunga kumaJournalists! Umasalu wezwelonke! Unconquerable! Your Mother Dr Amai Stopit PhD

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