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DR STOP IT: I am done destroying Zanu PF

To my subjects,Hello from Japan. We are just having fun here. I have been shopping and spending till I nearly collapsed.


You should try it sometime, it’s called retail therapy. But I am told you have no money and are struggling to make ends meet. I am sure you can always eat some cake.

Mudhara once said you people like eating too much sadza and that you should try eating potatoes.
Kkkkkkkk! But most of you use potatoes as relish so you would still need some sadza. You people never cease to amaze me.

But I know some of you ungrateful people have forgotten that I have distributed rice and maize around the country so that you do not starve.

Some people have been making jokes behind my back saying I distributed raincoats in the middle of a drought while others make fun of the fact that I distributed mapatapata (slippers).

I have never seen such ungrateful subjects.

Okay, I know when it came to shoes, some would get two shoes with different sizes but that’s no excuse to be ungrateful. You can always make a plan if you get a pair comprising left shoe being size 9 and right shoe being size 4.

Not only are you ungrateful, but you have no spine. Kkkkkkkk! I have almost single-handedly destroyed your party Zanu PF and none of you has the spine to thank or help me.

Don’t underestimate my proximity to power. Like I said in Chiweshe, I am in total charge of this country and our political party.

My only challenge is coming from those rogue war veterans who, according to Jonah, used to steal female combatants’ knickers. Their defiance is being led by Chris Mabhurugwa himself.

I have already dealt with the military and have already accused them of working with Crocoduck Ngwena, planning to do funny things at my dairy and to my children.

But because of lack of opposition, I have also created my own grouping of war veterans who will oppose everything that the genuine war veterans agreed last week.

Just like I have done to Zanu PF, my position, which is that of Mudhara, will prevail.

I am told Cde Mandy and some obscure war vets have already started raising dust and sending letters of complaint to Sekeramayi against the inclusion of Chris Mabhurugwa’s executive in the meeting with the Supreme Leader on April 7.

I hear Commissar Constantine did not have kind words for Cde Mandy, but that is to be expected because opposition to my eventual takeover when I shall be declared Queen of Zimbabwe is coming from those war veterans, some of whom are still serving in the security arms.

Destroying Zanu PF from within

You people just continue hating me when I am doing all of you a favour. Have you ever sat back to try and imagine the wonderful work that I have done in destroying Zanu PF from inside.

Consider what happened in Mashonaland West last week; virtually all the who is who of Gushungo 40 were given no confidence votes by war veterans. They included Mboko, Tyson, Jonah, Dread Petso and many others.

In Matabeleland, more chaos was manifesting itself with the suspension of many politicians, including the veteran of the struggle, Angeline Masuku.

In Midlands, I hear, July Moyo and all the followers of Crocoduck Ngwena have been suspended while tensions were high among war veterans. Ask yourself, who is behind this?

Have you ever seen a husband who does not support the activities of his wife?

Please, no silly theories like I am a Trojan horse who was sent by imperialists. I am just an ordinary wife who supports her man, who is equally supportive of his wife.

Mabhurugwa has been trying to sell the theory that there has been a bloodless palace coup. What is your opinion? Kkkkkkk! I don’t respond to silly questions.

Did I not announce in Chiweshe that I was now in charge?

The last nail in your coffin

April 1, known as Fools Day by others, will cement Mudhara’s legacy as a defender of the down-trodden black Zimbabwean. Under his astute and visionary leadership, all foreign companies resisting compliance with our indigenisation laws will be closed.

This will essentially mean more unemployment. Gushungo Dairy will be able to absorb those who will lose their jobs. So in addition to messing up agriculture, parastatals, allowing $15 billion to disappear and driving the best brains out of Zimbabwe, the Supreme Leader would have succeeded in making you the most miserable people in the world.

Kwaaaaaaaaaa! Ah yas, but then you are used to misery, aren’t you?
Munhuwese Kuna Amai!
Umasalu wezwelonke!
Pasi naCrockduck!
Gushungo 40 Woye!
Your Mother
Dr Amai (Fake Ph.D)


2 Responses to DR STOP IT: I am done destroying Zanu PF

  1. bee March 27, 2016 at 6:23 am #

    true amai vakatiitira basa rakanaka

  2. Nesongano March 27, 2016 at 12:25 pm #

    But I thought you are still stuck in Singapore Dr Stop It!! When are you getting to Japan.

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