I am a mother to all of you, Wicknell too is my son

Obituaries
LETTER TO MY PEOPLE BY DOCTOR STOP IT My People,I am sure most of you are aware that I am somewhere in Dubai and its environs.

LETTER TO MY PEOPLE BY DOCTOR STOP IT My People,I am sure most of you are aware that I am somewhere in Dubai and its environs.

As that inconsequential meeting with war veterans was taking place, I was already on the move.

I just didn’t take any chances and in any case, I had received information that they were displaying pictures of the other woman.

How can those war veterans be so mean and nasty to me? In fact, if anything nasty had happened, I would have been safely in Dubai. And in any case, I don’t think much of Chris and company.

Who was it who called them drunkards and taxi drivers?

My lips are sealed on that one.

Of course, few would have known that we were in Dubai until that excitable young gentleman, who is a family advisor, leaked the photos to the media.

Please don’t start talking about he-he-he convicted people hobnobbing with Amai.

I am mother to all of you so I cannot discriminate between the good and the bad apples.

Plus what wrong has the young gentleman done? Some of you are such hypocrites because none of you has any clean money.

The only money available is dirty money. Yes, you got that right, the only money available is dirty money.

Sorry, my mind keeps drifting away. Don’t listen to all those social network rumours of booze and medically induced loss of memories. Those are just jealous gossipers.

Anyway, don’t you know that Zimbabwe’s one and only daughter will soon be a mother and so surely you can’t expect her to deliver in one of those hell holes that you common people call hospitals.

Even the so-called private hospitals would not be good enough for her. In fact, no medical facilities in the country are good enough for the Ruling Royal First Family (RRFF). Silly rumours

I know you Zimbabweans as gossipers. Maybe it’s because of not having jobs to do. I know the party promised more than two million jobs, but then don’t you think vending is a job as well? Kwa-kwa-kwa-kwaaaaaaaaa!

Vendors are workers and you cannot say the people’s party failed to deliver on that one.

I just thought I should warn you about some silly rumours which were generated by Joice and her friend, Moregirls.

They have been sponsoring rumours to the effect that Mudhara revealed that $15 billion was missing because of old age.

Can you imagine they want you loyal followers of Mudhara to think he is no longer capable of holding office.

I saw Moregirls marching with his wife and their handful of supporters in town and I was shocked to see that they carried placards with messages to the effect that there was an old and clueless old man who needed to retire from office.

Don’t these people know that the older people get, the wiser they become. I have always said that he will rule you, not from a wheelchair, but from a wheelbarrow. Bhara!

The other rumour being sponsored by Joice and her friend Tsvangson is that  when the Supreme Leader revealed the role the army played in the 2008 elections, it was another sign of old age.

Munopenga! You are crazy! That was a simple mistake which can happen to anybody, young or old.

Joice, Moregirls and some sellouts who are still in the party like Lacoste are sponsoring such rumours to add momentum to their plans for a silly impeachment.

In addition to those, they want to add that rather embarrassing episode of reading the wrong speech and the infamous plunge on the red carpet at the Harare International Airport as further evidence that Mudhara is no longer fit to rule.

We are watching you, so don’t complain if things happen to you. I hope you were all listening when Mudhara told the war veterans about the need for discipline or else. Even from far off Asia, I am able to keep my finger on the national pulse.

Ngwena may think he has survived in Midlands but we have another plan that will shock him. I am gonna shock you Ngwena.

This one will shock even those with political shock absorbers.

For now, we will give him the impression that he has won the Midlands. We could even give him Masvingo and then we go for the rest of the country.

Come extraordinary congress of the party, he will be marooned with two out of 10 provinces.

Munhuwese Kuna Amai! Umasalu wezwelonke! Pasi, pasi nemhandu! Your Mother Dr Amai Ph.D (Fake)

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