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It’s a Weird World

FLATULENT: An Austrian man has been fined US$80 for breaking wind while he was being questioned by police officers.

Police in Graz said the laughter of passers-by humiliated them, giving them grounds to book Hansi Sporer (20) under local anti police abuse laws.
“This was no accident. He clearly intended to make a laughing stock out of the officers and deserved what he got,” said one police source.
The Safety and Security Act allows police to issue instant fines to people who insult or attack them.
Lawyers for Sporer, from Frohnleiten, near Graz, argued that his outburst had been accidental.
“This was an abuse of a serious law intended to protect police officers from serious attacks by members of the public not some trivial incident.”In the end Mr Sporer decided it was easier and cheaper to pay the fine than it would be to fight it”. –– Ananova.

CHAIN SMOKER: A woman who has smoked for 95 years has finally decided to kick the habit.
Winnie Langley says she has decided to quit because she “didn’t fancy it any more”.
Langley claims she has prevented getting cancer because she does not inhale.
Winnie, who lives in Croydon, South London, told the Daily Mail: “Everyone used to smoke in those days, you did it to cope. We didn’t know about the health problems. I just don’t fancy it any more.
“My eyesight is failing so in a few years’ time I might not be able to see the pack.”
Since her first puff in 1914, Winnie has smoked on average five cigarettes a day, giving a total of more than 170 000. –– Ananova.

RIP OFF: A Turkish woman accused of cutting off her lover’s penis must wait 18 months for a verdict and sentencing while a court determines whether his re-attached penis still functions, a court source said.
The criminal court in the Black Sea town of Trabzon will wait for a medical report assessing whether the 28-year-old victim has regained full use of his organ or if he is permanently disabled, an official involved in the trial said.
“To determine which crime was committed, we first need the report,” the source said. “We’ll continue holding hearings in the trial from time to time until we receive the report.”
The 39-year-old defendant faces between one and three years in prison if her former lover recovers, Haber Turk newspaper said. She will be jailed for at least eight years if he does not.
The woman told the court he had broken his promise to marry her and forced her into prostitution and beat her. The defendant, who has not been jailed during the trial, told the court she cut off her former lover’s penis and threw it onto the roof of a neighboring building while he was drunk, the newspaper quoted her as saying. –– Reuters.

DRUNKEN BINGE: A drunk French teenager narrowly escaped death on Sunday after falling asleep on a railway track and slumbering undisturbed as a high-speed train roared over him, police said.
The driver saw the body lying on the tracks and slammed on the brakes, but was only able to stop a few hundred meters further on.
“It was his unconscious state that saved him really, as he lay there completely still like a dead body,” said a spokesman for the local police force, adding that the clearance under the train is only around 20 centimetres.
According to the spokesman, the teenager was making his way back from the Saint Nolff music festival when he stopped to take a nap on the railway line.
Roused by police and fire fighters who attended the scene, the young man gave a one-fingered salute before rolling over and going back to sleep. –– Reuters.

 

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