Women marry for a variety of reasons, but most women would love to have a husband they can call “a good husband”.
Inside Track with Grace Mtandwa
The idea of a kind, loving, sensitive and thoughtful husband is something that is almost alien but predominantly resides in romantic novels and in the bowels of many a women’s imagination.
Maybe with the advancement of genetic engineering, someone will eventually come up with a prototype of a batch of young boys that might grow up into what could pass for “good husbands”. Now, that would be a winner!
While we are waiting for that major feat, the men of Zambia have decided it is time they helped groom each other into men their women can be proud of.
Through the nudging of their women, a group of men have launched a Men’s Network and with it a 10-year “Good Husband Campaign”.
Some members of the Network based in Zambia’s capital, Lusaka, said they were working with the Young Women’s Christian Association (YWCA), to try and wage war against gender-based violence (GBV) and bring back passion into marriages. Working along the same lines as Zimbabwe’s Men’s Forum (Padare/Enkudhleni), the Men’s Network is guided by the principles of love, care and the power of sharing in a relationship.
The campaign seeks to change social norms, attitudes and beliefs that have set the boundaries of acceptance of violence against women and girls and convince men that violence is unacceptable.
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‘Like dogs, good men must be rewarded’
Men’s organisations that want to walk alongside women in their quest for fair treatment and recognition of their rights, should do more than talk to and cajole abusive husbands.
Both Zimbabwe and Zambia have laws against gender-based violence but uptake seems to be low in as far as the numbers of women who seek protection through the law.
In both countries statistics show that more than 50% of married women have at some point experienced physical violence. The Men’s Network said more than half of Zambia’s women (54%) have suffered from either spousal or partner abuse at some point. The abuse ranges from physical, emotional to sexual.
Members of the Men’s Network obviously want to be better husbands and they also want more men to embrace a more loving demeanour. They are working on awarding prizes to men who emerge as good husbands or men who overcome the demon of spousal abuse.
Frankly, I think they have their work cut out for them. Very few men are into hugging and playing nice.
Women should engage dog trainers. Any person who can train a dog to fetch, sit or do tricks will be able to train men to become good husbands.
An award for being a good husband for a month or year or even a decade might not be very attractive for most men — it is almost like a terminal benefit that they might never live to enjoy.
[email protected] or Twitter:GraceMutandwa1
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