INSIDE TRACK: Love him as much but don’t lose your mind

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High-profile political divorces give us a glimpse of how even some of those politicians we consider inept are co-mpetent when it comes to amassing wealth.

High-profile political divorces give us a glimpse of how even some of those politicians we consider inept are co-mpetent when it comes to amassing wealth.

Inside Track with Grace Mutandwa

Locally we have had our fair share of a show of obscene wealth. Now one of South Africa’s top politicians of the ANC has through the disintegration of his marriage, opened a whole door for us to catch a blast of just how super flush he is.

Tokyo Sexwale’s (we used to call him Sexywale, on account of the fact that he indeed looked quite sexy when he was younger) divorce from his wife Judy will see them split an astounding R2 billion. Obviously for those rolling in dough, this is an insignificant amount, but for the man on the street, it is a lot of money.

But of course, as with so many of our politicians’ divorces, they all try and blame their wives of all sorts of things and in most cases infidelity.

Surprising that they only start complaining about infidelity when the wives demand a divorce. This is just a ploy to ensure that the wife walks away with nothing or as little as possible.

I know we are always amazed when we hear the amounts of money and the property portfolio involved and we ask ourselves how they managed to get so rich.

We ask ourselves even when we know that most of them, even the ones who call themselves astute business people, use their positions to slice into every conceivable pie.

I have no intention of dissecting the conundrum of how these men find themselves at the top of a pile of gold.

What I do want to get to the bottom of is why the women who marry these men take it for granted that they will live happily ever after.

It is one thing to be in love, but to be stupid is an unforgivable mistake. Some wealthy men make their wives to be sign pre-nuptial agreements. Some of these men are the most romantic men on earth but they refuse to let love turn them into “idiots”.

‘Make hay while the sun is still shining’

We are all human and at some point things might go bad and in all fairness, if I was a rich woman I would not want to see the man I am divorcing walk away with half my wealth. Hell No!

All I am driving at is that anyone capable of falling in love and actually moving past all their flaws and looking the other way when they sleep around, should have some insurance of sorts. You might not have the protection of a pre-nuptial agreement but you can invent your own protection.

When the man is still besotted with you and you actually believe he will never break your tiny heart, bug his office, bug his car, bug his office direct line and put a private investigator on a retainer in case you need him in future.

Do all this if your instinct tells you that your man might some day start keeping things from you and also if you already know that your man’s past is well-documented in the Casanova textbooks.

All women who tell you that their husbands used to be very sweet and honest are only trying to make themselves feel better about their rotten choices.

History is replete with stories of brutal and womanising men, who ended up married to some very decent and loving women. A big number of seemingly sensible women do actually knowingly marry unworthy men.

If a man is going to insult you and terrorise you because you want your freedom, then you must also pay him in his coin.

Ensure that your private investigator takes loads of compromising pictures of your soon-to- be-ex and all his lovers.

Find out which hotel or lodge he uses for his shenanigans and if you must, bribe the lodge or hotel staff and sneak video cameras and get yourself some insurance. Yes, I am encouraging you to blackmail the pants off the bugger!

Being a wife is a very difficult job — apart from motherhood, it is the hardest job on earth. It has no laid down job description, no formal working hours, no overtime, no guaranteed pension and is emotionally and physically tiring, so yes if a man is leaving you, he must share the wealth you helped him create.

If you are divorcing a politician or high-profile businessman, if you have been wise enough to harvest blackmailing material then do not worry about him refusing to share the family loot.

There are magazines and newspapers that are willing to pay good money for some of your information and with what I have learnt about some of the politicians, their ex-wives could write thrilling books and can you imagine the movies that could be churned out of that material?

Some of your friends will tell you not to stoop to your man’s level but they are not the ones being stripped of luxuries.

Love as much as you can but do not lose your mind over a man. Do not be done out of a secure future — he has already taken your youth, you cannot let him take away the money as well.

[email protected] Twitter: GraceMutandwa1