You know election season is upon us when colourful T-shirts dominate the fashion scene.
Report by Grace Mutandwa
A friend says this year she has T-shirts from at least three political parties. Her idea was not just to protect herself by accepting T-shirts from one of the political parties, but also to use the T-shirts as winter nightwear.
Without putting much thought into this decision, she wore one of the T-shirts and jumped into bed. Her husband who was reading in bed suddenly stopped and looked at her strangely. She said she proceeded to snuggle up to him and he gently pushed her away and said; “Not in that, you don’t!”
She said her husband was incensed that she was wearing a T-shirt with another man’s face to bed. This is despite the fact that the couple is actually rooting for that particular candidate.
When my friend shared this with me it gave me an idea. You know normal verbal communication sometimes lands people in hot water. But T-shirts with messages pass on messages quietly and sometimes quite effectively.
You could have T-shirts for every occasion. For a spouse who does not brush his or her teeth before going to bed you can get the “Someone’s morning breath stinks” T-shirt.
You can get the “Tonight’s gonna be a good night” T-shirt, to let your man know you are in the mood for making love or the “That bloody headache is back!” T-shirt to send the message you that are not in the mood.
I have heard some women complain about their friends’ men hitting on them. Try telling a friend that their man is making moves on you and you will find out that your message will be met with suspicion, and you might even be accused of being envious. All you need to do is go the non-verbal way. Invite your friend for coffee and ensure that you are wearing the “Your man wants me” T-shirt. You should at the end of your coffee date give your friend a present — an “Are you hitting on my friend?” T-shirt. What she does with it is her own decision but if she is not as thick as two planks, she will decipher your message.
For a man who will not take “No” for an answer, even when he knows you are in a relationship with someone else, you should give them a special T-shirt — the “Sorry if I seem interested, I’m really not that into you,” or the “Hitting on me makes you look silly,” or the “I’m really out of your league, please get a life.”
For relatives who have a tendency to outstay their welcome, you could dish out T-shirts that say; “Your home misses you,” or “Going back home is not a mistake,” or “It was nice having you, now it’s time to say goodbye.”
If you are an abused woman you might want to wear to bed T-shirts with such messages; “Free my voice,” or “Real men hate violence,” or “Keep beating me and you will keep eating lizards,” or “One day I will fight back,” or “I bought a knife today.”
But the most important T-shirts are those that make us smile and also compel complete strangers to stop you and ask if they may read the message on your T-shirt again. Maybe we could use T-shirts as tools against violence.
Whatever message you decide to send, employ some humour and take the edge off the message. You can still send a strong message without being offensive or abusive.
Until the next elections, enjoy your T-shirts and may their shelf life last long enough to remind you of the promises made to you by the politicians.