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Bite the bullet, simply be honest to him

A growing number of women I know are on some kind of exercise regime, while some are taking various teas or herbs to lose weight.

Inside track Grace Mutandwa

Some of these women are in relationships and they moan that their men do not seem to care much about looking healthy. One told me recently that she was ashamed of her man because his kangaroo pouch seemed to be growing everyday. She does not know how to tell her man to lose weight without hurting his feelings.

The truth is, it is always difficult to tell a loved one that they have to lose weight or take better care of themselves. But, if it bothers you and you care enough about their health, then you should bite the bullet and simply be honest. You could also pretend you want to spend more time together and get him to join your gym or you could establish an exercise regime for the two of you at home.

One way or the other, if your man’s weight is starting to worry you, you should do something about it.

I see many young successful men who look like they are pregnant with triplets. They look quite happy to waddle around, drink like fish and eat like little porkers. It seems to be the new hallmark of success!

What’s so sexy about an overweight man?

While some people might be genetically heavily built, most just let themselves go and tell themselves that being overweight is a sign that they eat well and are financially comfortable. Letting yourself go is gross.

Turning yourself into a walking heart attack is nothing to be proud of. There is also nothing sexy about a man whose tummy looks like it has a life of its own. How many sex videos have you seen of overweight people?

Whether we like it or not, both men and women do have sexual fantasies and they are never about sumo wrestlers. While most fantasies are about what we would like done to us in and out of bed, the fact is that they are built on people we might never meet in life — people with sculpted bodies — prominent people who care about how they look.

With obesity comes the propensity to rely on fast foods. In more homes, children ask for fatty fast foods and they get them. Some families rely on fast foods and think cooking is such a waste of time.

Some people do not eat fast foods that much but eat huge mountains of starchy food. The trick of maintaining a healthy lifestyle is to eat small amounts of food — cover all the required nutrition groups without stuffing yourself.

Eating healthy is also kinder on your pocket. Make meals for your children and men that are tasty but healthy.

I know it is not always easy to make some men eat healthy, especially those who like visiting places where bones and offals are cooked. If you have a man who insists on existing on a death row diet, then you must simply tell him that he is fat and needs to lose some weight before he suffers a heart attack.

If you really find it hard to tell your man the truth about his body, just go and buy lots of full-length mirrors and install them in the bedroom. Let him see how his body looks. Let him see how weird and awkward he looks when making love. Some men might seem like they do not care about the fact that their tummies look like the hanging gardens of Babylon, but being forced to look at themselves might make them do something to shed some fat.

It must also be quite uncomfortable to make unforgettable love when one is weighed down by too much weight.

Start taking care of yourself and get more women thinking; “I wonder what he looks like naked?”

And finally we are in October now, and if you are one of those people who like to go away for Christmas, you might want to start making your bookings now. You might also want to work on your gift list and start buying some of the presents.

You might also want to add two more books to your adult reading section. Buy two books for you and your lover to read from psychologist and author, Brett Kahr. The books, The Secret World of Sexual Fantasies and Who’s Been Sleeping In Your Head are a good read. Introduce books as a relationship communication tool.

Grace Mutandwa is a communications specialist, media trainer and published author. She can be reached

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