Too much pressure can make a lot of us angry, frustrated, irritable or sad. Over time the pressure and stress can knock you out cold with a burnout. Studies have long shown that stress can have a lasting, negative impact on the brain. Exposure to even a few days of stress compromises the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus — an important brain area responsible for reasoning and memory. Weeks of stress cause reversible damage to neuronal dendrites (the small “arms” that brain cells use to communicate with each other), and months of stress can permanently destroy neurons. Stress is a formidable threat to your success — when stress gets out of control, your brain and your performance suffer. How can you deal with pressure and stress before it gets the best of you?
inspiration with Cynthia C Hakutangwi
The trap of depression
After prolonged periods of relational, work, financial or physical stress, there are very high chances that you can burn out and begin to head towards a major depression. When things become dysfunctional in your life and the people that you expect to support you are sabotaging your progress, it is very easy to get into a meltdown where you find yourself in a state of hopelessness. There comes a time when you don’t want to meet new people, carry on conversations, or overload your brain with information. Sometimes you get into a dark frame of mind – clouded by worry, irritation, and self-pity. All you want to do is to get away.
Stop worrying about what people think
Most times when we are undergoing extreme pressure in our lives, the people around us may totally have no clue about what is going on within us. You may feel like you want to explode, but you frantically keep kicking your legs under the water. Those around you will be seeing a very calm and collected version of you. Trying to keep these appearances is usually very costly to us and may result in a total breakdown. It is usually the very people who were either causing you stress, putting you under pressure or those you were trying to please that will be the first to ridicule you when you break down. When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness.
Develop your emotional intelligence to deal with toxic people
Whether it’s negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome, or just plain craziness, toxic people drive your brain into a stressed-out state that should be avoided at all costs. Toxic people drive you crazy because their behaviour is so irrational. The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance. Top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain calm and in control. One of their greatest gifts is the ability to neutralise toxic people. Top performers have well-honed coping strategies that they employ to keep toxic people at bay. To deal with toxic people effectively, you need an approach that enables you, across the board, to control what you can and eliminate what you can’t. Successful people know how important it is to live to fight another day. In conflict, unchecked emotion makes you dig your heels in and fight the kind of battle that can leave you severely damaged. When you read and respond to your emotions, you’re able to choose your battles wisely and only stand your ground when the time is right. Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. You cannot stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don’t recognise when it’s happening. Sometimes you will find yourself in situations where you’ll need to regroup and choose the best way forward.
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How do you rejuvenate?
When was the last time you really played hard and laughed? What activities have you invested in that help you to rejuvenate your emotional, physical and mental strength? Do you have a place of escape? Leaving your everyday to find a place of retreat is an important practice in self-care. It helps you to reflect, rejuvenate and add value to your self-concept. If you are going to be able to really love others — to value them, to listen, to respond to their needs effectively — you need to attend to your own needs as well. Take time to restore, renew and rejuvenate yourself so that you can enjoy life a little more and to bring more peace and more happiness into your life. Learn breathing techniques. Take a deep breath and hold it for five seconds. Go out. Pamper yourself. Disconnect yourself. Reassess your life. Research various relaxation tips. The best way to rejuvenate yourself is to reduce the amount of stress you have present in your life and rest. When you sleep soundly, your body has the opportunity to repair itself physically and psychologically. A good night’s sleep makes you more positive, creative, and proactive in your approach to life. Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. When you fixate on the problems you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress. When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and reduces stress. Self-care often seems like an extravagance. It can seem indulgent, perhaps even selfish, but it is very important. Invest in a good support system. Do you need a counsellor, a mentor or a life coach? Identify those individuals in your life and make an effort to seek their insight and assistance when you need it. Something as simple as explaining the situation can lead to a new perspective.
Cynthia Hakutangwi is a communications and personal development consultant, life coach, author and strategist. Wholeness Incorporated Coaching offers you strategies you can implement today to become a critical thinker and pursue a significant life. E-mail: [email protected]. Facebook: Wholeness Incorporated.
