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Take time to audit your social circle

Inspiration with Cynthia C Hakutangwi

Have you ever stopped to wonder if the circle of people you have surrounded yourself with is indicative of the type of person you are, or whether you are a product of the group of people around you? Did you draw them to you, or did you change to become like them? What have the people around you helped you to become? Have they lifted you or brought you down? Do you feel happier around them or more negative? Do they have the same types of goals that you do? Are they positive and uplifting? Do your friends make you want to be a better person?

Auditing your social circle

Who are the closest people surrounding you right now? Do you admire their qualities? Can you trust them to watch your back? When a person confidently says they have your back it means they are there to help you out, they will watch out and take care of the things you are likely to miss, that they are a second set of eyes and hands for you. You cannot accomplish great things alone or with unproductive relationships. You need a team around you who will bring out the best in you. You want people who believe in you and who will go the extra mile to help you manifest your dreams. Successful people are careful to attract those who share similar values, and repel those whom they do not wish to be like. It is important to make friends with people who share the same energy and zest for life that you do. You want your inner circle to bring you up, never down. Get to know individuals who are smarter than you, and more experienced. Work with people who will challenge your opinions in an effective and intellectual way. You want to be encouraged and focused, not crestfallen and distracted by other peoples’ lack of productivity.

Who do you need around you?

The people you choose to have in your inner circle should be there for a reason. When you are on a mission to improve your wellbeing and achieve life goals, you will benefit from the support of others. Are the people in your inner circle there for you regardless of what is going on in your life? Do they help you grow and catch you when you stumble? Ideally the people who you trust and lean on can provide you with either emotional support, encouragement, informational support or tangible support. Your team can comprise of family members such as a sibling or a parent. Choosing a mentor who is more experienced than you, someone you admire and has accomplished or helped others accomplished similar goals is invaluable to have in your inner core. If you are blessed to have a supportive, secure significant partner, they can make an awesome inner core member. It can strengthen your relationship to confide in and to help each other. You can also bring within your inner core a best friend who is not necessarily in the same space as you are, someone who is not competing with you is invaluable to have in your corner. You can also hire someone professionally to teach and coach you in your goal. Your professional arrangement should ensure that they keep all information from your time together private.

Who is sharpening your iron?

Deciding who to let in your inner circle requires discernment and wisdom. Your personality type also matters too. Making the right choice will determine your interaction with the individual. The question that most people have is whether they should find a role model, a mentor or a coach. So what is the difference? A role model is an individual in which the behaviour is observed from a distance. A mentor is someone that the individual works with on a fairly regular basis. It involves observing the mentor but also includes the opportunity for discussion, evaluation and progress through two-way communication between the mentor and the mentee. The individual and their coach on the other hand have a task based relationship. A coach looks at you work, partnering with advice and tools on how to improve your results.

Surrounding yourself with good people is one way to maintain a healthy, balanced life. Your closest confidants and advisors are called your inner circle because they give you truth, listen to you, and sometimes provide advice. Mostly, they are individuals you trust. You might find that some of the people closest to you really do not have your best interests at heart as you might have previously thought. They might be fine as friends or acquaintances, but nothing more. You don’t need to move away from these friendships unless they are destructive, however, you do need to occasionally prune your inner circle. Ideally, your inner circle of people are those who treat you with the highest regard, so be sure to return the favour. Do kind things for your inner circle, let them know you appreciate them, and treat them with respect. Value these people because when you need them, they’ll be there for you. It’s time you surround yourself with people who have great and ambitious plans, meaningful and life transforming purposes, and big winning targets and dreams. This should be a goal in itself.

The last chapter of my book, The Connection Factor: Unlocking Your Individual Potential Through Your Connections, explores why and how to regularly audit your social circle. If you are hanging around people who are worlds apart from the levels you seek and desire to attain, you will not receive the proper nourishment for your spirit, mind or soul and will eventually die of malnutrition.

l Cynthia Chirinda Hakutangwi is an organisational and personal development consultant, life coach, author and strategist. Her two new additions to The Connection Factor Collection — The Connection Factor for Leaders and The Connection Factor for Women — speak to matters that position organisational leaders and women respectively, to achieve greater levels of success through their strategic connections. Looking at improving your career, personal effectiveness, communication skills, relationships, focus, faith and happiness? Wholeness Incorporated Coaching offers you strategies you can implement today to review your progress and achieve your goals. E-mail: LinkedIn: Cynthia Chirinda Hakutangwi. Mobile: +263 717 013 206.

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