I looked hard at the pictures of RMG End Time Message Pastor, Robert Martin Gumbura in all the local newspapers and none convinced me he was a man I could ever be remotely attracted to.
Inside Track with Grace Mutandwa
When a motley of women swarm around a man and declare undying love for him, any curious woman would like to find out what it is that makes that man such a “catch”.
I wondered too. We all do know from their own words Gumbura’s women believed he was a good provider and loving husband, but even then you expect such a man to exhibit looks that do not send young children into shock or hiding. Nothing about Gumbura screams “loving”.
But then again, only the 11 wives who had the guts to wake up next to him can speak authoritatively about how loving he is. We however have the right to retain our scepticism.
He might have money but his looks and his whole demeanour is enough to scare off women not bowled over by material things. But then again, I realise that for some women it is not always about money but also to do with perceived power.
Bad boys with nothing much in the looks department sometimes find themselves in positions of power and they use their positions to ensnare women. Once hooked some of these women discover that the ugly dude is also well-endowed in the adult entertainment sector.
Such men are also known to work hard to perfect the art of making love. They combine their power with their sexual prowess to get the women they want addicted.
There is a certain allure and sexual whiff that comes off some of the most physically unattractive men. It is something no one can explain and sometimes it is so strong that it leaves some women spellbound.
Although women with an elevated self worth will not join a harem, there are some who draw strength from being a part of a sexual pleasure-dispensing unit. It is easy to see Gumbura’s wives as victims but it is also equally easy to peg them as gold diggers.
But everything is not always black or white, there are vast grey areas. It is also not always about love but love is a word that makes it easy to explain away any uncomfortable situation. Love is a go to word even for strange situations.
We have an economic situation that has created monsters. Some of these are people who should care about our welfare but they use their power of persuasion or ability to instil fear to subjugate us. Societal pressures that demand that women be married or at least be in some sort of relationship sometimes are to blame for the poor choices some women make.
Some women put themselves in a place where unpalatable decisions are made on their behalf and they simply follow and do whatever is demanded of them. Strangely, some women that we feminists believe are being taken advantage of, actually see themselves as being lucky. They believe their personal social stock is on the rise because they are bedding the most powerful man in church.
The church used to be a sanctuary, but today it can also be a place where you get sexual instruction and live out all your sexual fantasies. The idea of having sex with a man who has just come from dipping his wick in another woman might be off-putting for some women but for some it heightens their appetite. The reason why wife swaps are common in some cultures is because there is a certain heat and allure that comes from a woman sleeping with another man.
Call it crazy but there are men and women who are strongly attracted to anyone sleeping with one or several other people. There are men whose libido is jump-started by the mere fact that their woman is getting some from a man they consider more powerful than them. There is something in our pheromones that goes around whispering; “I’m getting some” and some men drink it in and attach themselves to us in the hope that they will get lucky.
Dogs are not the only ones driven to distraction by a female dog on heat. Some men share that same sexual depravity DNA and will pretend, as did some of the men from Gumbura’s church, that they are following religious dictates.
All I have learnt from the Gumbura debacle is that right now, it is a very hard time to be a feminist. We have a principle to defend but the confusion is intoxicating.
Grace Mutandwa is a Media Consultant and published Author. She can be reached at: firstname.lastname@example.org/@GraceMutandwa1/Skype:Wisteria42