A boozers’ soccer match is in progress. One of the contesting teams is making a substitution. The fresh player comes on and barely a minute on the pitch, in an attempt to clear a goal bound shot in the six-yard box, the new player completely misses the ball with his foot and some-how handles the ball. The referee rightly blows for an infringement and awards a penalty against the offender.
laughing it off with Blaah Dhee
The offender feels unfairly treated. He vehemently disagrees with the referee, denying the charge, claiming the ball went to his hand, not his hand to the ball. In a display of defiance, he goes on to kick the ball away from the penalty spot, refusing to have the kick taken, accusing the match official of bias.
This result is a five-minute stoppage during which the irate player is cooled down by his team-mates and eventually clears the way for the kick to be taken. The gods smile on the offender as the penalty kicker agonisingly sends his effort crushing on to the cross-bar.
The ball ricochets and trickles towards the player who was refusing to have the kick taken. To the amazement of spectators and players alike and to the dismay of his team-mates, instead of kicking the ball to safety, he picks it up with his hands and sarcastically boos at the referee. He reckons poetic justice has been done.
He believes he has had the last laugh and the referee has been left with egg on his face. But, amid the hurling of obscenities at him by the irate player, the referee blows his whistle and points to the penalty spot again.
The match official has awarded another penalty! Of course the referee is 100% correct. Handling of the ball in the box by any other defending player other than the goal keeper warrants a penalty kick against the offender’s team.
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The offending player is further incensed and this time charges at the referee threateningly. To the ignorant player, the moment the first penalty kick crushed against the bar, the game should have been restarted with his team taking a goal kick.
Unbeknown to him, since the ball bounced back onto the field, it was still in play. By picking up the ball with his hands he had committed a foul punishable by the awarding of a penalty kick. Such is boozers’ soccer.
Contrary to what many assume, there is a vast difference between boozers’ and social soccer. Here is how it goes; some start playing soccer as toddlers, playing plastic balls. This is followed by school soccer in primary school as well as in high school and from there, one graduates to junior club soccer.
Thereafter comes lower division league football, which then leads to premier league. Then the “elite” league and social soccer sees the sunset of one’s playing days.
The boozers’ version of the game is played by those who never went through the abovementioned stages. Watching a boozers’ soccer match is like watching cartoons. The players will be sporting pot-bellies and at times get tripped by the ball, or just trip themselves without anyone marking them.
Many of them are not all that conversant with the rules of the game. The manner in which they constantly leave the playing field without the referee’s permission as they go out to take a swig of their beers is testimony to that. Some look like they are big in stature owing to the big bellies and you would assume they can pack very powerful shots. Yet the majority of them cannot even deliver a full corner kick.
In stark contrast, social soccer is for those who played at most of the levels mentioned earlier and are conversant with aspects of the game as far as its rules are concerned. This is a game for former players, who for one reason or another can no longer engage in competitive professional or semi-professional leagues.
Passion for the game and the need to exercise compels them to keep playing. Remember the Raylton Club social team that knocked Caps United out of the Zifa Cup some years back? That was a typical social soccer team.
Boozers’ soccer and indeed social soccer is sometimes spoiled by some young players. These are usually underage in as far as the two soccer versions are concerned. They cannot stand competition in their own age group and opt to play with old people (madhara).
You know the type of players who during the junior soccer days never seemed to grow up. They remained in the under-17 or under-20 boys team for more than a decade.
The most annoying thing about these young players at social soccer is their lack of skill as expected at this level. This is due to their lack of exposure. This deficiency leads to their tempers and their tackles, which usually hover on the brink of insanity.
To them, it is all about winning and nothing else. Yet, with genuine social soccer players, the winning or losing emotions were spent way back during their competitive soccer days. They play to keep fit and sharpen their thirst in order to down their favourite beverages (alcoholic mostly) after the game.
