Wanting winning but loving losing

Sport
HOW much do we enjoy sport? From where does our enjoyment of sport come? Many a sportsperson will claim that they hate losing, that losing is horrendous, that it is impossible to enjoy a match that is lost. The argument goes that “losing isn’t anything”. Many a sportsperson admits to being in a bad, dark place for days after a bad defeat so can anyone seriously stand up and say we can enjoy losing?

school of sport:with TIM MIDDLETON

HOW much do we enjoy sport? From where does our enjoyment of sport come? Many a sportsperson will claim that they hate losing, that losing is horrendous, that it is impossible to enjoy a match that is lost. The argument goes that “losing isn’t anything”. Many a sportsperson admits to being in a bad, dark place for days after a bad defeat so can anyone seriously stand up and say we can enjoy losing?

Here, then, is a short test to determine our view on the matter — a test of four simple questions. Can we enjoy winning? Can we not enjoy a match that we win?

Can we enjoy a match that we lose? Can we not enjoy a match that we lose? The answer to all those questions is: yes, we can! What we are really considering, therefore, is what determines our enjoyment of sport. Is it simply the result that will determine our enjoyment? If it is, then we should not say sport is the problem; the result is. But we have seen the logic simply does not hold up. Predictably we will be quick to point out that we generally enjoy a game that we win and do not enjoy a game that we lose but we can just as easily enjoy a game that we lose and we can easily not enjoy a game that we win. Here is why.

How can anyone possibly enjoy a game that we lose? Easily! We may play incredibly well, well above our normal level, but just happen to come up against a stronger team. We may well enjoy the greater challenge that a stronger team presents us with. We may enjoy the high intensity of the match. We may enjoy the fact that our performance improved greatly from the previous match or the score-line was reduced considerably from the previous match against the same opposition. We may delight in being stretched, pushed, challenged by a team that is far stronger. It is easy and extremely possible to enjoy losing!

In contrast, how can anyone possibly not enjoy a game that we win? Easily! The match may be so easy that it all becomes extremely boring, just smashing through the opposition, facing no real challenge or threat, just operating as different individuals because teamwork is not required. Would the Zimbabwean men’s soccer team enjoy playing against a primary school under 11 team (assuming as we do that the former would indeed win!)? Winning would not provide any great enjoyment there — neither would the losing by a strong team. So it is not the result that matters.

What about a third possibility? How can anyone possibly not enjoy a game that we lose? Easily! Very easily, in fact, but not for the reason that we lost. We may not enjoy the loss for the simple fact that we played terribly, that we did not play as a team, that we did not put into practice what we had worked on throughout the week, that we did not heed instructions, that we did not put away the chances that we had, that we took the opposition lightly. Those factors caused the loss, that is all.

Lastly, how can anyone possibly enjoy a game that we win? Easily! That really is easy! The feeling of winning is a wonderful feeling, not least for all the glory, honour and kudos that comes with it. The feeling when everything about our play comes right is exhilarating! The ability to hang on for victory despite massive efforts from the opposition gives enormous adrenaline rushes. The joy of creating and taking chances, as a team, with confidence and freedom, all that makes winning wonderful!

However, we should be able to discern from all of the above that it is not the winning that is bringing the enjoyment, it is what happened in the match, what we managed to do — it is the journey, not the destination. We do not enjoy a match that we won 100-0 one hundred times more than we enjoy a match that we win 1-0. Yes, there are many reasons why we may not enjoy losing but it is not the losing that we do not enjoy, in the same way it is not the winning that we love.

We will all have to admit that we can enjoy winning and enjoy losing, just as much as we all have to admit that we can not enjoy winning and not enjoy losing.

The fact that all four statements are possible, not just in reason but in reality, should help us to see more clearly from where the enjoyment of sport can and must come. Losing isn’t anything, for sure, but neither is winning anything. As a result, we should really just be like those Colts or Fillies players who come off the field with absolutely no idea what the score was — and no real interest either! That is what counts — not the score.

l Tim Middleton is a former international hockey player and headmaster, currently serving as the Executive Director of the Association of Trust Schools Email: [email protected]