Everyone knows Ed Sheeran as a prolific singer and song-writer, a four-time Grammy award winner, no less, with perhaps his most well-known hit song being Perfect. However, he is also a very keen soccer fan, being a lifelong supporter of a lesser known (though previously successful) English soccer club, Ipswich Town, even to the extent of being a shirt sponsor for both their men’s and women’s teams and providing money for them to buy players in the transfer market. In addition, he also enjoys many other sports and is a noted rugby and NHL enthusiast (reports show he has been seen wearing the New York Rangers hockey team jersey and as well as the MLS side Atlanta United).
It might therefore be no surprise that another of his songs is Love is a Beautiful Game. Soccer traditionally is known as the ‘Beautiful Game’ after the legendary Brazilian soccer player Pelé used it to describe the “grace, skill, and artistry of the sport” as well as its “universal appeal, passion, and unpredictable nature”. More recently a film has been made with that title recounting the story of the Homeless World Cup, an annual international street football tournament. Beautiful. Perfect!
Sheeran’s song, Love is a Beautiful Game, has the words Out of the embers, we’ll rise from the ashes, write in the stars with our names that we are here, we are bruised, we are damaged but the joy was worth the pain. Whoa-oh-oh-oh, love’s a beautiful game. It goes on to declare that; Oh, what a state we’re in but the war is far from won. Yeah, we did everything anyone could have done. We’ll pick the pieces up, put it together, we pray and hope it works. They say it’s in the blood.
It is interesting that he should describe love as a game. Love is beautiful, for sure, and tennis uses the term ‘love’ a lot, though it is not a score that players would want – but then, unlike a game, love is about thinking of the other person. Perhaps ‘love is a beautiful game’ because it is full of ups and downs, highs and lows, successes and failures, joys and sorrows. It is life.
If we are going to think of love as a beautiful game, what about parenting? Is it a game? Is it a beautiful game? And if it is a game, for a bit of fun we may consider what game is most like parenting. Some might think parenting is like rugby; it is tough, physical, tactical. Maybe it is like tennis, just one thing after another going back and forth, back and forth until something smashes! Alternatively, it may be like cricket, keeping our child in for as long as possible and ensuring others do not catch them out! Or what about like water polo where who knows what is happening under the surface but we hope it is honourable and fruitful? Is parenting like American Football where we as parents spend all our time trying to hit anything that might impede our child’s progress? Or like basketball, where we cannot ‘travel’ anywhere? Or Baseball, where it is all a matter of a home run, one after another? Or maybe parenting is like swimming where we try to stay afloat and move forward with a lot of splashing and kicking involved.
Having wondered idly all that, we may need to clarify a few points though. Firstly, let us stress that parenting is not a game; it is not a fun pastime, a leisurely activity. Secondly, it is not about winning, especially not about the parent winning over our child. It is not a game: it is serious. We have to take it seriously. Parenting is also not a game because there is no end to it. Games, sports, matches, they all come to an end within a prescribed time but parenting does not. Our role does not end when the child reaches the age of responsibility or leaves home.
Then too, parenting is not a game as there are no specific results. It is not a matter of ensuring there is one winner at the expense of a loser. If anything, parents will be the loser, not in the sense of their sanity or identity but in the sense of them giving up their goals and ambitions and finances for their child.
Maybe we as parents may echo the words from Sheeran’s song that while we raise our children, we may be “bruised” or “damaged” but “the joy was worth the pain”. Indeed, we must do “everything anyone could have done”. We must “pick the pieces up, put it together, we pray and hope it works.” After all, “it’s in the blood” Parenting is a beautiful game – It is not a matter of being game for a laugh; it is a game for life. There is only one possible response to that: perfect!
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