It has become a massive exercise in recent years for men to devise enormously creative ways to propose to their intended future wife, be it in a romantic setting on a beach with the sun setting and the waves gently lapping, or on the top of a mountain or in a restaurant or wherever – by limiting the examples to these, this writer is clearly showing his own lack of imagination. Then there are all the wacky ones with the ring appearing out of surprising objects, the cast of thousands included in the shenanigans, the elements taking over, the complexity contributing to the tension.
One young man wished to propose to his good lady at their favourite spot where they walked their dogs. He arranged in advance for the accessories to be sent to his father’s home to avoid early detection and then put the plan into action. On coming home from work, he suggested to his lady that they should go and walk the dogs at their favourite spot but she declined as she was tired. He insisted so she begrudgingly agreed and got in the car but became irritated when he dallied in returning to the house (to get the ring) when she just wanted to get on with it. She was further irritated when he indicated he just had to collect something from his dad’s house on the way (“we can get it later”) but he insisted. On arriving at the car park, he suggested she should go ahead while he just did something (namely put T-shirts, bearing the words ‘Will You Marry Me’, on to the afore-mentioned dogs). Unfortunately, the dogs saw the lady go off on the walk and they clambered all over the car to get out, making the task of dressing the dogs somewhat harder. When he eventually did manage it and let them out, they tore off wildly after the lady - but went up to another couple…
And then, this most personal and intimate of occasions, of course, it must be recorded – oh, and then it must be posted on social media for everyone to see how impressive it was. The serious act of seeking agreement to the proposal seems to be lost in the drama of the event. Even as this is being described, readers are recalling such images! Let us not forget though - engagement is a big thing.
Some public engagements almost defy belief and we may wonder how seriously it is taken. The actress Pamela Anderson and the pop star Tommy Lee became engaged three days after they met in Cancun in 1995 before getting married the next day – perhaps the shortest engagement ever. The longest recorded engagement, however, it is understood, was 67 years, from 1902 to 1969, between a gentleman called Octavio Guillan and a lady Adriana Martínez. More well known may be Oprah Winfrey who has been engaged to Stedman Graham since 1992 but by all accounts have not yet married. Whether we show it or not, engagement is meant to be a big thing.
Engagement is the first step to a commitment. It is a time to get to know much about the other person, to understand and appreciate the other, to establish if they are on the same wavelength in many areas of life, to see what the other is really like and what the other offers. It is a stepping stone to something greater. The bottom line in the engagement is that there must be engagement between the two. Ultimately, it is about connection. Engagement comes in engaging.
Faithful readers of these articles will know that our aim is not to offer marriage counselling but rather stimulate educational thinking, so when we are discussing engagement here, we are not advising on how long or short, how clever or imaginative, an engagement proposal should be, but rather we wish to highlight that at the heart of education, if education is going to be meaningful and long-lasting, there must be engagement. A teacher’s role is to engage with the pupils, to connect with them, to catch their attention and stimulate an interest and a desire to learn more. It is about a relationship that is being taken to the next level. However, the purpose of education is not just for the teacher to engage with the pupils but more that through the teacher the pupil is engaged with the subject, with other pupils and above all with life. Education must be all about engagement.
Yes, some engagements do not last; some might be like a rugby scrum which, after the players ‘engage’, collapses by the force and pressure placed on it. We want our children to have a life-long engagement and ultimately commitment to learning, to loving, to living. We, like a car, cannot go anywhere if we do not engage gear, so it will help if this article is engaging too. Will you accept?
- Employee engagement
- Zim re-engagement effort faces brickwall
- Employee engagement: Signs employers need to watch
- Promotions in entrepreneurial brand mix
