It suddenly went quiet outside. Whoever was knocking was not Sekai. Fatso had warned me against opening the door unless it was him.
“I know you’re in there. Open the door.” It was a woman’s voice. The voice was now sharper.
“It’s freezing out here, open the door,” the woman or whoever was waiting on the other side of the door said.
I nearly opened the door but thought better of it. The temperature in the room had dropped significantly. I could hear the wind from outside. The kind of wind that moves in the desert at night and is accompanied by cold moist air.
I huddled in the blanket all the whole my heart pounding. The night was long and l did not know what waited outside the door.
Opening that door could open a can of worms not only for me but for Fatso.
He had stuck out his neck for me to find shelter at his workplace. No one must discover me here.
I wanted to cough. I suppressed it. The effort almost choked me. Someone tried to open the door. The door handle moved downwards. It was securely locked. After about twenty five minutes the footsteps moved stealthily away. I could hear the footfalls, one measured footstep after another.
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I was gripped with fear. Sleep was the last thought on my mind I don’t know when and how I dozed off. I fell into a deep slumber.
And I had the dream again. My mother who had been deceased for the past twelve years came in my dream. She took off her brown overcoat and placed it gently over my shoulders covering my body from head to toe. I felt warmer and became drowsy as everything became peaceful. It felt so real. When I was a boy after a hard day herding cattle and goats I would fall asleep on the concrete bench in the kitchen. My mother would cover me with her wrapper. Sometimes she would carry me to my room in my sleep.
When I woke up in the morning I was so sure I would find my mother in the room. Rays of dawn drifted into the room through the space beneath the door. I looked around as I shook my head from side to side. And then I remembered everything.
The knock at the door and the voice. The dream. It was not the first time it had happened. This dream always appeared in my dark moments.
Fatso had to let me out soon before the first workers reported for duty. I still had the thirty rands in my pockets. The asylum permit was in the other pocket. Exactly forty minutes later after I woke up, Fatso arrived breathless.
“Open up the door,” He said. His voice was unmistakable.
I immediately unlocked the door for him. Since yesterday when I saw Sekai, I had told myself not to trust Fatso anymore going forward.
“There’s something I want to tell you,” he said. He averted his eyes.
I cocked my ears. I knew what was coming. I think he had fought with his conscience overnight.
“It’s about Sekai,” he said. He hesitated.
“What about her?” I said.
And then he started going off which I did not expect. It must have been hard for him to let the cat out of the bag.
“I want to tell you the truth, we’re in a foreign land, there should be no animosity between us,” he said. Heavy silence hung between us.
“ I am in love with her. We are living together,” Fatso said at last. There was an interminable silence that almost lasted for thirty seconds.
“You in love?” I said as I pointed at him with my forefinger.
“You’ve never loved anyone except yourself,” I said. I wanted to explode in anger.
Fatso was startled. He stood near the door. A veil had lifted. “Is that why you did not tell me you’re working together with Sekai?” I said.
“You knew?” Fatso asked, surprised.
“I saw her yesterday,” I said.
“I had to help her. I met her in the streets, she was hungry and dirty. She looked vulnerable after you abandoned her,” Fatso said.
“I did not abandon her,” I said with great feeling.
“Are you aware that she’s a married woman?” I said.
“ Sekai said her husband came to Johannesburg many years ago. The husband neglected her and their marriage was over,” Fatso said.
I stood up. I did not want to keep talking with Fatso. I had to leave.
I had never declared my love to Sekai. I was nothing to her. She was a married woman who had lost her child to drowning in the Limpopo River crossing.
I pushed past Fatso as I went out.
*Onie Ndoro, For Feedback: X@Onie90396982/[email protected]
