Keep your relationship exciting

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The beginning of the year is the best time to slowly introduce all those changes you have been thinking of.

The beginning of the year is the best time to slowly introduce all those changes you have been thinking of.

Inside Track with Grace Mutandwa

If you finally want to get that amazing lover, you have to work on your own body.

Get onto a detoxification regime. Start exercising and work on not just whittling your middle but strengthen your shoulder and thigh muscles. Work your upper back, hips and glutes. Exercise is a stellar metabolism booster but it also kicks up your sexual stamina several notches up.

My own exercise regime consists of two days of yoga, one for an all-round workout and two days of strength moves every week.

Yoga is both mentally and emotionally relaxing. It also makes your movements flexible — which is a plus in the bedroom. I combine all that with Kegels — these are exercises that focus on strengthening and tightening your muscles.

I wake up early enough to get in 40 minutes of either yoga or high intense exercise. Before I start I drink a glass of lemon or apple cider water.

When watermelons are in season I make a melon and cucumber juice, which I drink before and, after exercising. Drink as much water as you can throughout the day.

Work hard to boost your sexual stamina

Many women find it hard to undress before a man. They worry about how their bust, butt or tummy looks. Have you noticed how even those men who look like they are pregnant are not bothered at all.

It is because men are simply mesmerised by the fact that they have bagged you. If how you look bothers you, then work out and while you are at it turn yourself into a sexy cat. Equip yourself with moves that will ensure that even if he fails to rock your world, every time you make love you will get that sexual pleasure. It will be your own little secret!

As part of the New Year changes you might also want to lay off booze for a month or two. If this is too much of a struggle then just shave off four weeks of your drinking calendar right at the beginning of your exercise regime. Eat sensibly and try and stay off too much animal fat. If you are not good at coming up with your own kitchen creations, go online and download some of Jamie Oliver’s healthy and tasty meal recipes.

If you really love the guy you are with and you really want him then you must also learn how to tap into his mind because for men, most of the sex happens in the head. When you know what is going on in his head you have the ability to unlock his full sexual potential. Men are visual, that is why some are obsessed with porn — they like the seductive poses they see. Quite a number of men feel sexually inadequate and use porn to try and learn something new.

The way you undress, move, what you do with your hands and legs can send a man wild. Work on your mind and body but also get some useful props. Vibrators are good, they do not spread HIV and Aids and with good practice you can be able to use them. You can also introduce the vibrator as one of the toys that you can use in foreplay.

Some men might sneer at all those women in high heels at the shopping mall but believe me, six-inch heels in the bedroom are a high turn on for some men. Throw in some romantic lingerie and you have a fire going!

I would also like to suggest that you continue to feed your mind intellectually as well as socially. Get a copy of Rachel Cosgrove’s book; The Female Body Breakthrough. Music is an important part of your emotional growth and your exercise time so you should also get Costas Karageorghis’s book; Inside Sport Psychology — he studied music’s impact on exercise and has some very interesting suggestions on the kind of music you should work out to.

Go on, it is a brand new year, take your body on an exercise test drive, start on all those things you have been putting off and shine a light onto your life.

More importantly, be around people who make you want to be a better woman. I wish you all happiness, positive energy, kindness and the unstinting love of good and deserving men. May your eyes glaze over with pleasure and may your smile never fade.

Grace Mutandwa is a media consultant, and published author. She can be reached at: [email protected]/@GraceMutandwa1/ Skype: Wisteria42